There, You Are.

Remember this:

I grew up in a white house with black shutters

Two porch swings lined with floral cushions hung opposite one another

My parents told us stories from their childhoods

while we swungback and forth

Beyond the porch were endless woods, and beside the house was a fort my father built—a bright blue tarp stretched across the top

I remember how everything wasarranged

The swings looked into each other's eyes with a nurturing respect

That is something I wrote about them,years later

I was sitting between them

I admired these stories because they were so grand to me (I have kept that word and lost the sound of what was said)

Grand.

The rain pattered the groundThe leaves rustled

I remember a houseI gave you its color and something to sit onThe distance between the swings was yours to decideSo was the weather (until I told you it was raining)

What happened to the sunlight you put there?

You can leave it.I won't know.

I remember listeningI remember being between two thingsI could see beyond the porch, 
but I could not see myself

Do you see me?

There, you are

I thought of it as my castle (the house was theirs)From the porch, the fort was visibleFrom the fort, I could see the houseThere were places I could stand without being seenPlaces I could see without being there

I thought I knew where I stood.

Stay there.

I remember that a briar bush would collect 
its token of blood if stumbled across blindly

Bad bushes,I called them

They caressed me and I loved them in return

I remember the woods from the porchI remember the porch from the woodsThe trees moved while I stood still (they remember you moving while they stood still)

I cannot tell youwhich of us moved

You were being watched

I could still heartheir voices

I couldn't see their faces.

Time passed.

It passes differently now

I can go back and check what I wroteThe ink is where I left it (some of it is lighter now)I find something I didn't know I had keptI find a space where 
something used to be

The swings face each other

There is nobody in this sentence.

You put them there

I was looking at youYou were looking back at me

I remember the stories being grandI remember listening to the woodsThere were things I heard twiceOnce from the porchOnce from somewhere farther away

I was sitting between them

Between what?

The woods told stories from their childhood.

Do you still see flowers?

I cannot bring back the pattern 
by saying it again.

You gave them flowers

A houseA blue roof

No—the blue belonged to the fort

I knew that. I knew the story. I had been there.

Sometimes I find myself looking at someone who has not yet learned what I knowThey are still standing where I left themThe light is still touching 
their face

I want to tell them something

There is nowhere in the photograph for the information to go

They never turn around.

I stay a little longer

The way someone standsThe space they leave beside themThe way their hand is held

Do you see me?

In one picture I remember standing beside themIn another I remember taking the pictureThe distance between those two positions 
is difficult to measure

I remember where I stood, or I remember standing there, or I remember being between them, I can make a picture of us without including myself, I can watch you look at something I remember (I was there), there were places I could see without being there, I remember the swings facing each other but I cannot remember who was between them

I want them to turn aroundI want them to look

I want to be there,I was there

I remember the swings and the room between them, enough room for someone to sit, and I was sitting there or I was looking at someone sitting there

the woods were speaking or my parents were speaking

I watched over something that did not belong to me

Something that did not belong to me watched over me

I remember that.

Or I remember being watched

It follows me and envelops me in its gaze

I remember the house

I remember the rain

What happened to the sunlight?

I remember the woods

I remember being between them

Between what?

I remember how everything was arranged

I remember being there

Someone was listening

I was listening

Are you there?

You'll be safe here

What color is the house?

I understand this now.